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Suicide Surfers > Diaries > Jay's diary > 5.11 Looking for love at Surfers Paradise

5.11 Looking for love at Surfers Paradise

2004-11-08 05:46 GMT

I had one of my best toilet experiences today. Okay, I admit, I've had sex in toilets few times in my life (this would be good time to tell about some of my weird sexual habits, but I'll return to it later) and being all drunk and pissing all over public toilets is sometimes a blast too, but in a different way this experience was fun too. Anyway, I wanted to piss and so I entered this public toilet just next to the beach at Surfers Paradise. As I closed the door, a voice from a speaker said: "Door is closed. Please push button to lock the door". I pushed the button, door locked and voice said: "Door is locked. Your maximum use time is ten minutes". Neat. I could easily jerk off in that time. Maybe even two times. With enough Peter North & Rocco movies even more. After the speaker had spoken the toilet was filled with music. And it wasn't just any basic elevatorjazzthingymusic. It was fucking Burt Bacharat! Can you belive it! Of course this groovy music made me totally miss the toilet. I just didn't bother to concentrate on aiming, since I was too relaxed and amused. I belive that these toilets were there for japanese people. There are lots of them at Surfers Paradise and I've understood that they are very shy. Oh yeah, I'll try to record my visit to that toilet to video if I remember.

How did we end up in Surfers Paradise? Actually we are staying at place called Main Beach, but basically the whole Gold Coast is one big city and Surfers is it's center. It's only a walking distance from here at least if your not too drunk or anything. We woke up late in the morning so I didn't have a chance to check the waves and go practise surfing then. But after some trouble finding ATM, I bought new shoes and boardshorts from Kirra and we left to Burleigh Heads. Joe's computer crashed so he had to drop it there to get it fixed. They told that they would look what's wrong in Tuesday or Wednesday. SO we had to decide where we would spend the weekend. Now I'm sure that Burleigh Heads is nice place and I want to spent at least a day or too there later, but I thought that it would be fun to spend the weekend at some bigger place for change. So we decided that we'd come here.

When we had setteled down after eating and walking around for while at Surfers, we went surfing. Unfortunately storm was just starting so we only stayed a few moments in ocean. Sure, I would have stayed longer, but the rain and wind kills the waves (right... I was just too afraid that I'd drown). But no worries, we went swimming in the pool. It really didn't matter that it was raining, because the rain is really warm here and so was the water in pool. Actually the ocean isn't that bad either since it's about 20-22C this time a year. After swimming I started to prepare for the evening since I was about to go looking for love at Surfers. As I recall it has been quite a long time since I last got laid. I think it was August or September... (terkkuja Hannalle ;)

Seems that the best way for mw to get laid is to get really drunk. I mean really really drunk. Like a giraffe, so when I fall, I can't get up by myself. When I'm at that state I have a slim 'n non chance to get a girl to come home with me. Usually when something starts happening I'll just pass out. I had quite a reputation with my room mates at my last appartment. It wasn't just once when they woke up in middle of night when I had brought back some girl from bar and when it started happening I ran to toilet to throw up. But then I just wake up in the middle of night (well more like early in morning) and have sex then. And I'm really bad. Hmmm... seems that I suck in two of the best things in world, sex and surfing... go 'n figure that out... After the girl leaves in the morning I jerk off in shower thinking how terrible I was. Isn't it nice that I share this all in internet? But you're the fucking pervert reading.

So that was about my plan. To get drunk to get laid. Either one didn't work out. We visited few bars and nightclubs, but we didn't drink that much. First we went to Bar called Howl to the Moon. Nice looking waitresses there and two blokes playing piano and singing. After that we visited Hard (Hård, as Yngwie would say it) Rock Cafe, but nothing much there. Then we went to some little bar where I tried to get drunk. I really would have fucked that waitress there. But yeah, that doesn't tell anything. Right now I'd fuck almost anybody. They also showed Poker Championships 2003 on tv. That was groovy. After few beers we went to nightclub called Shooters. It cost 10 dollars to get in there! And a stubby of Toohey's New was 6 dollars! What a rip off. I hate to admit it, but since I'm starting to be really desperate I even went dancing for a while. Hey, everyone needs some love! When we left we wondered around for a while, and then I just gave up and we decided to return to caravan park.

Yep, you guessed right. No luck with love today. And I still haven't even reserved any loveletters to my e-mail. Come on, there has to be some lady reading my diary? Send me mail and tell me what a loser I am. I'll jerk off reading it. Answer guaranteed for mails with picture. My e-mail can be found at credits or profiles sections.

(btw, if someone really read the whole thing or just warped to the end, go ahead and say something at the guestbook, since the forum isn't working yet. It would be really nice to know if there actually are some people following the site. Some interaction would motivate to keep on writing this shit. Just say hi or anything!)