Joe Suicide's surfer diary http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/ en joe@suicidesurfers.org Joe Suicide's surfer diary Midgard Components Framework - de.linkm.newsticker Fat points of Panzerfaus Fat points of Panzerfaus http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/fat-points-of-panzerfaus.html http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/fat-points-of-panzerfaus.html Thu, 04 Jan 2007 16:05:34 +0200 joe@suicidesurfers.org (Joe Suicide) Frederick Faust, also known as "Panzer" for his appetite for well-built women, visited the Suicide Surfers over New Years. It was quite a typical visit. Lots of drinking, some sauna, burning Santa Claus candles from both ends and playing game of "Piikkaa Läskiä" or "Fuck-The-Fat". But hey, now I am going a bit too fast for you guys. It was great to have Frederick here for a while, not only because he is a great guy, but also because now I can with clear consciense crash at his place in Berlin when I feel like it. And there is no place better to have kebabs than Berlin. And I should fucking know after spending a week in the country of such famous man as Kemal Ataturk, Soleiman The Great, Ali and Sefer. You always had to wonder what kind of stick was put into kebab when it was warming up and felt so soft, wet and pleasant. I am going to update here picture of one out of TWO!!!! fatties Frederick got his points from. Only thing that lessens the glory is that Frederick didn't try to do high score where even one jekkubomba would have made him a legend. Joe Frederick Faust, also known as "Panzer" for his appetite for well-built women, visited the Suicide Surfers over New Years.

It was quite a typical visit. Lots of drinking, some sauna, burning Santa Claus candles from both ends and playing game of "Piikkaa Läskiä" or "Fuck-The-Fat". But hey, now I am going a bit too fast for you guys. It was great to have Frederick here for a while, not only because he is a great guy, but also because now I can with clear consciense crash at his place in Berlin when I feel like it.

And there is no place better to have kebabs than Berlin. And I should fucking know after spending a week in the country of such famous man as Kemal Ataturk, Soleiman The Great, Ali and Sefer. You always had to wonder what kind of stick was put into kebab when it was warming up and felt so soft, wet and pleasant.

I am going to update here picture of one out of TWO!!!! fatties Frederick got his points from.

Only thing that lessens the glory is that Frederick didn't try to do high score where even one jekkubomba would have made him a legend.

Joe


]]> Office Office http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/office.html http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/office.html Tue, 28 Nov 2006 19:38:37 +0200 joe@suicidesurfers.org (Joe Suicide) Place I work is actually my first experience of small offices. At my first office job there were 24 people when my career started and about 45 when I walked out of the door. People liked their jobs, some of them even obviously too much, and didn't change them during the one and half years. Still I never really got to know most of my coworkers. One of the reasons was those people being too damn average. Although succesful, polite and well-educated, most of them lacked the flame of originality. Office had to look like office with normal office interiors, radiocontrolled cars of sales director and people with suits. It was a really succesful company where people lived to work. Or sort of lived. In my current office we have drastic lack of office furniture, suit is worn only when meeting customers and regular practical joke involces defused landmine. But we know eachother. Everyone of our six fulltime employees (me and Bob included) is willing to have a laugh or take one for the company. The company in itself isn't just about getting paid and doing something you don't hate that much. It is about freedom of doing whatever you want to do, backing up your mates and fulfilling dreams. And our dreams need to be backed up. Without a decent financial aid none of us will participate the infamous Mongol Rally. Long live Muerte Despacchio! Joe Place I work is actually my first experience of small offices. At my first office job there were 24 people when my career started and about 45 when I walked out of the door. People liked their jobs, some of them even obviously too much, and didn't change them during the one and half years. Still I never really got to know most of my coworkers.

One of the reasons was those people being too damn average. Although succesful, polite and well-educated, most of them lacked the flame of originality. Office had to look like office with normal office interiors, radiocontrolled cars of sales director and people with suits.
It was a really succesful company where people lived to work.

Or sort of lived. In my current office we have drastic lack of office furniture, suit is worn only when meeting customers and regular practical joke involces defused landmine. But we know eachother. Everyone of our six fulltime employees (me and Bob included) is willing to have a laugh or take one for the company.

The company in itself isn't just about getting paid and doing something you don't hate that much. It is about freedom of doing whatever you want to do, backing up your mates and fulfilling dreams.

And our dreams need to be backed up. Without a decent financial aid none of us will participate the infamous Mongol Rally.

Long live Muerte Despacchio!

Joe

]]> Long time, no write Long time, no write http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/long-time--no-write.html http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/long-time--no-write.html Sat, 25 Nov 2006 19:54:27 +0200 joe@suicidesurfers.org (Joe Suicide) For some reason I have slipped from my way of keeping this diary in the internet. Today there was a need to locate our favourite homosexual movie about Alis and Sefers blooming love and while trying to figure where it was stored, I red through couple of my past entries. It is very, very pleasant to note that at least some of the time in the past my thoughts have been logical and still politically incorrect. So what is wrong now, since there haven't been any texts for so long? First excuse was probably the DeathMonkey rally, that took pretty much out of me. Even when we had really good opportunity to write about our trip to bigger audience than ever before, something just jmmed inside of me. No new ideas rose and those stories from the road are more likegoing through what is happening than giving some insight to the life of Joe Suicide. Anyway, I've made my decision to start blogging here again. Now, more beer. Joe For some reason I have slipped from my way of keeping this diary in the internet. Today there was a need to locate our favourite homosexual movie about Alis and Sefers blooming love and while trying to figure where it was stored, I red through couple of my past entries.

It is very, very pleasant to note that at least some of the time in the past my thoughts have been logical and still politically incorrect. So what is wrong now, since there haven't been any texts for so long? First excuse was probably the DeathMonkey rally, that took pretty much out of me. Even when we had really good opportunity to write about our trip to bigger audience than ever before, something just jmmed inside of me. No new ideas rose and those stories from the road are more likegoing through what is happening than giving some insight to the life of Joe Suicide.

Anyway, I've made my decision to start blogging here again.

Now, more beer.

Joe

]]> Twentyseven Twentyseven http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/twentyseven.html http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/twentyseven.html Sat, 24 Jun 2006 14:32:44 +0300 joe@suicidesurfers.org (Joe Suicide) Yesterday, along with Midsummers Eve, I celebrated my 27th birthday. Fianlly I have reached the age when all the best rock stars, actors and other significant people checked out. This doesn't mean that I should do the same. Come on, how many leading roles or hit songs has Joe Suicide acted/sang/composed. I'll just have to accept getting a bit older and wiser. Or who gives a shit. How wise is the Project DeathMonkey, which starts next Friday? Joe Yesterday, along with Midsummers Eve, I celebrated my 27th birthday. Fianlly I have reached the age when all the best rock stars, actors and other significant people checked out. This doesn't mean that I should do the same. Come on, how many leading roles or hit songs has Joe Suicide acted/sang/composed.

I'll just have to accept getting a bit older and wiser. Or who gives a shit. How wise is the Project DeathMonkey, which starts next Friday?

Joe

]]> When in Helsinki, you can piss anywhere When in Helsinki, you can piss anywhere http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/when-in-helsinki--you-can-piss-anywhere.html http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/when-in-helsinki--you-can-piss-anywhere.html Sun, 07 May 2006 21:10:54 +0300 joe@suicidesurfers.org (Joe Suicide) Ok, 1st of May came and went by with typical celebrations. Weather was good, which meant the people were even more drunk than usual. I'm not gonna write much more about it, go and check the pictures from galleries. All foreigners should note how amazingly everybody wears a white hat after 18:00 of 30.4. It is a strong tradition and should be noted if you are ever going to visit Finland. Joe Ok, 1st of May came and went by with typical celebrations. Weather was good, which meant the people were even more drunk than usual. I'm not gonna write much more about it, go and check the pictures from galleries.

All foreigners should note how amazingly everybody wears a white hat after 18:00 of 30.4. It is a strong tradition and should be noted if you are ever going to visit Finland.

Joe

]]> New World Order New World Order http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/new-world-order.html http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/new-world-order.html Sun, 23 Apr 2006 11:13:31 +0300 joe@suicidesurfers.org (Joe Suicide) Finally there is order in my home. It took almost two months, but now all the essential furniture have been bought and delivered. If you read the earliest entries of this diary you'll notice that most of my worldly possessions were thrown away before leaving to Australia. That left my place kind of empty when I finally got back. In Finland I had only my bed, where most of the bonuses from 2003 were invested and ten boxes full of books. After landing here, I have bought three bookselves (one was thrown away last time moving), build two more, bought a table and some pillows to sit on the floor, three stools and finally a kind of a bar table. So what do you think? Nice isn't it. Now I feel like a truly bourgeous man. Flat, furniture, television and a real job. To fight against this feeling it is necessary sometimes to drink with ones mates and do something totally irresponsible. For the first activity everybody is invited to join, but the second one, which currently is represented here, has strict protocols before joining in. Joe Finally there is order in my home. It took almost two months, but now all the essential furniture have been bought and delivered. If you read the earliest entries of this diary you'll notice that most of my worldly possessions were thrown away before leaving to Australia. That left my place kind of empty when I finally got back.

In Finland I had only my bed, where most of the bonuses from 2003 were invested and ten boxes full of books. After landing here, I have bought three bookselves (one was thrown away last time moving), build two more, bought a table and some pillows to sit on the floor, three stools and finally a kind of a bar table.

So what do you think? Nice isn't it.



Now I feel like a truly bourgeous man. Flat, furniture, television and a real job. To fight against this feeling it is necessary sometimes to drink with ones mates and do something totally irresponsible. For the first activity everybody is invited to join, but the second one, which currently is represented here, has strict protocols before joining in.

Joe
]]> Cleaning Up Cleaning Up http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/cleaning-up.html http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/cleaning-up.html Sat, 15 Apr 2006 17:29:25 +0300 joe@suicidesurfers.org (Joe Suicide) Last week was spend mostly by cleaning up. Felipe isn't really messy person and contributed his share in housekeeping work, but the fact is that when you have someone staying at your place, cleaning isn't the first thing you worry about. So there was lots of vacuuming and dishing to do. Next thing to clean up was my mind. It had collected lots of alcohol during the week. In fact we had drank every day with Felipe. Not much, but just enough to disrupt my rhytm of life. These things happen every now and then, but it really felt like a relief when I just didn't have any reasons to have any alcoholic drinks and I could just lay down and rest. Third thing to clean up was my working status. Even though I had tried to work as much as usual, little visit of our german had piled some work on my desk. It is quite pleasing to get those things done and be able to enjoy the long weekend of easter. Fourth thing to clean up is my computer. My laptop is quite old and you've red about the problems I've had with it. It has been my constant worry, that some day it'll break down permanently and I may lose lots of pictures and all the music stored there. Today I made a purchase of an external hard drive and currently all the files needed in future are transfered there. This will also make possible the change from Windows XP to Ubuntu, since I can now start from the scratch with the actual hard drive. Although I've been Windows user as long as I jave used computers, now might be the time to move a new page and start using something else. Joe Last week was spend mostly by cleaning up. Felipe isn't really messy person and contributed his share in housekeeping work, but the fact is that when you have someone staying at your place, cleaning isn't the first thing you worry about. So there was lots of vacuuming and dishing to do.

Next thing to clean up was my mind. It had collected lots of alcohol during the week. In fact we had drank every day with Felipe. Not much, but just enough to disrupt my rhytm of life. These things happen every now and then, but it really felt like a relief when I just didn't have any reasons to have any alcoholic drinks and I could just lay down and rest.

Third thing to clean up was my working status. Even though I had tried to work as much as usual, little visit of our german had piled some work on my desk. It is quite pleasing to get those things done and be able to enjoy the long weekend of easter.

Fourth thing to clean up is my computer. My laptop is quite old and you've red about the problems I've had with it. It has been my constant worry, that some day it'll break down permanently and I may lose lots of pictures and all the music stored there. Today I made a purchase of an external hard drive and currently all the files needed in future are transfered there. This will also make possible the change from Windows XP to Ubuntu, since I can now start from the scratch with the actual hard drive.

Although I've been Windows user as long as I jave used computers, now might be the time to move a new page and start using something else.

Joe

]]> Subcommandates Guide to the Gorilla Warfare Subcommandates Guide to the Gorilla Warfare http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/subcommandates-guide-to-the-gorilla-warfare.html http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/subcommandates-guide-to-the-gorilla-warfare.html Sun, 09 Apr 2006 18:02:15 +0300 joe@suicidesurfers.org (Joe Suicide) It has been really busy week. As I already posted last week, Felipe, the infamous subcommandante, came to visit me for a week. Saturday: Felipe arrives to Helsinki Vantaa airport, where he is warmly greeted by the custom officials. Illegal substances aren't found (there aren't any this time) during the throughout investigation. Joe and Felipe start drinking. At Joe's place Jay joins in. Team eats and starts getting drunk. It is time to hit the night life of Helsinki. Two bars and a student party later, team brokes up and Jay disappears. Nobody has heard from him after Saturday. Sunday: An easy day spent trying to cure hangovers. Joe cooks some reindeer with mashed potatos. Finnish film "Paha Maa" (Frozen Land) is rented and watched. Monday: While Joe has to work, Felipe enjoys wandering around Helsinki central in good spring weather. It rains both snow and water. As Joe finishes his day, boys meet up in Sports Academy, where few girls try to make passes on our heroes getting very drunk with Minttu -shots (40%) and vast amounts of beer. Mike Eastback turns up along with A-K. Together we head to "The Rock Bar", where we consume couple of� SuicideSurfers (named after me and Jay). From Rock Bar, which is quite empty, team heads up to Lost&Found, which calls itself as heterofriendly gaybar. Felipe scores a point with a very, very fat blond girl. No extrapoints are gained since he fails to record anything to his camera and doesn't perform "jekkubomba". Tuesday: In the morning Felipe finds his way back home feeling apparently great. He had just started chewing off his own hand, when the whale had turned in sleep, so Felipe stays without injuries. Since Mike also wakes from Joe's place, team decides to get a fish and enjoy a good dinner. On the way to the fishmarket boys find some schnaps and end up on the ferry to Suomenlinna (fortified island front of Helsinki). A good fish is also bought and eaten afterwards. Wednesday: Joe has work, so Felipe heads to Porvoo with A-K. Day goes by without any great adventures. Thursday: Felipe spends a day in the national museum. When Joe gets back home an ad hoc decision is made. Joe, Felipe and A-K head to the proletarian paradise Kallio and visit the legendary restaurants of Tenkka and Roskapankki. Felipe learns to say "I am an ukrainian porn star" in finnish and enjoys the karaoke performers. Local color makes great impression. Friday: Felipe spends a day in Museum of Modern Art (Kiasma), while Joe works. As soon as Joe is back home drinking starts. Dinner is consumed in Zetor, the famous tractor restaurant in Helsinki, specialiced in finnish food. First Minttu -shots of the day get consumed. From Zetor team goes to one of the most expensive bars in Helsinki, Ateljee Bar in top floor of Hotel Torni. Felipe consumes some whiskey and a beautiful cigar. From there the only logical place to go is Corner, heavy metal bar. There Felipe performs, after 5 shots, karaoke singing "Iron Man". (125MB, but worth the wait!) As drunkenness gets stronger and other performers worse, we move out to a discotheque Onnela. There we party until late. Felipe manages to buy some illegal substances from somalian calling himself "Sugar". Saturday: After buying souvenirs is time to go to Skolls ("The Reindeer") place to have a sauna party. It turns out that Skoll just got single again and Jose got thrown out for a month by his girlfriend. Also Mark, Skolls junior brother is present. After hard sauna and wrestling with Mark, Joe passes out. Sunday: Easy chilling. Movies "Once were warriors" and "Lomalla" were rented. It has been really busy week. As I already posted last week, Felipe, the infamous subcommandante, came to visit me for a week.

Saturday: Felipe arrives to Helsinki Vantaa airport, where he is warmly greeted by the custom officials. Illegal substances aren't found (there aren't any this time) during the throughout investigation. Joe and Felipe start drinking.



At Joe's place Jay joins in. Team eats and starts getting drunk. It is time to hit the night life of Helsinki. Two bars and a student party later, team brokes up and Jay disappears. Nobody has heard from him after Saturday.

Sunday: An easy day spent trying to cure hangovers. Joe cooks some reindeer with mashed potatos. Finnish film "Paha Maa" (Frozen Land) is rented and watched.

Monday: While Joe has to work, Felipe enjoys wandering around Helsinki central in good spring weather. It rains both snow and water.

As Joe finishes his day, boys meet up in Sports Academy, where few girls try to make passes on our heroes getting very drunk with Minttu -shots (40%) and vast amounts of beer. Mike Eastback turns up along with A-K. Together we head to "The Rock Bar", where we consume couple of� SuicideSurfers (named after me and Jay).

From Rock Bar, which is quite empty, team heads up to Lost&Found, which calls itself as heterofriendly gaybar. Felipe scores a point with a very, very fat blond girl. No extrapoints are gained since he fails to record anything to his camera and doesn't perform "jekkubomba".



Tuesday: In the morning Felipe finds his way back home feeling apparently great. He had just started chewing off his own hand, when the whale had turned in sleep, so Felipe stays without injuries.

Since Mike also wakes from Joe's place, team decides to get a fish and enjoy a good dinner. On the way to the fishmarket boys find some schnaps and end up on the ferry to Suomenlinna (fortified island front of Helsinki).



A good fish is also bought and eaten afterwards.

Wednesday: Joe has work, so Felipe heads to Porvoo with A-K. Day goes by without any great adventures.

Thursday: Felipe spends a day in the national museum. When Joe gets back home an ad hoc decision is made. Joe, Felipe and A-K head to the proletarian paradise Kallio and visit the legendary restaurants of Tenkka and Roskapankki.



Felipe learns to say "I am an ukrainian porn star" in finnish and enjoys the karaoke performers. Local color makes great impression.

Friday: Felipe spends a day in Museum of Modern Art (Kiasma), while Joe works. As soon as Joe is back home drinking starts. Dinner is consumed in Zetor, the famous tractor restaurant in Helsinki, specialiced in finnish food. First Minttu -shots of the day get consumed.

From Zetor team goes to one of the most expensive bars in Helsinki, Ateljee Bar in top floor of Hotel Torni. Felipe consumes some whiskey and a beautiful cigar. From there the only logical place to go is Corner, heavy metal bar. There Felipe performs, after 5 shots, karaoke singing "Iron Man". (125MB, but worth the wait!)

As drunkenness gets stronger and other performers worse, we move out to a discotheque Onnela. There we party until late. Felipe manages to buy some illegal substances from somalian calling himself "Sugar".

Saturday: After buying souvenirs is time to go to Skolls ("The Reindeer") place to have a sauna party. It turns out that Skoll just got single again and Jose got thrown out for a month by his girlfriend. Also Mark, Skolls junior brother is present.

After hard sauna and wrestling with Mark, Joe passes out.

Sunday: Easy chilling. Movies "Once were warriors" and "Lomalla" were rented.

]]> Subcommandate returns Subcommandate returns http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/subcommandate-returns.html http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/subcommandate-returns.html Sun, 02 Apr 2006 13:27:59 +0300 joe@suicidesurfers.org (Joe Suicide) Felipe came to Finland. We've been talking years about the possibility and now he actually did it. For those who might want to travel between Berlin and Helsinki, it might be useful to know that currently the cheapest company is blue1.fi. Hell, Felipe paid less than 80€ for the round-trip. Yesterdays program was quite simple. I picked up my german friend from the airport at evening and we started drinking. Biggest adventure for all of us was probably at the airport, where custom officers strip searched Felipe ("See that dog over there?" "Yes." "It is interested in you."). It took a while and I was starting to suspect that the bastard had just pulled april fool on me. Drinking is hard work, but we did well. Together with Jay, his roommate and Pasi we went to a student party, but because of high level of intoxication at this point, none of us got laid. Today we'll eat reindeer. Joe Felipe came to Finland. We've been talking years about the possibility and now he actually did it. For those who might want to travel between Berlin and Helsinki, it might be useful to know that currently the cheapest company is blue1.fi. Hell, Felipe paid less than 80€ for the round-trip.

Yesterdays program was quite simple. I picked up my german friend from the airport at evening and we started drinking. Biggest adventure for all of us was probably at the airport, where custom officers strip searched Felipe ("See that dog over there?" "Yes." "It is interested in you."). It took a while and I was starting to suspect that the bastard had just pulled april fool on me.

Drinking is hard work, but we did well. Together with Jay, his roommate and Pasi we went to a student party, but because of high level of intoxication at this point, none of us got laid.

Today we'll eat reindeer.

Joe

]]> Gardening guy Gardening guy http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/gardening-guy.html http://www.suicidesurfers.org/diaries/joe/gardening-guy.html Sun, 26 Mar 2006 13:08:35 +0300 joe@suicidesurfers.org (Joe Suicide) I haven't been writing lately much. One major excuse for the past week and a half has been Bob's tour in America, which has leaved me with bigger responsibilities than I first thought. Yes, for those of you who don't know, I am currently employed by my longtime friend and comrade monkey Bob Frozen. This week was pretty good considering that I managed to convince a mislead client to buy our services with three times the money they had estimated. For this misleading is hard to pinpoint any particular scapegoats. But for all of you who'll have to negotiate and close deals, I strongly suggest sending proper proposals to your clients before talking about closing the deal. You'll talk about the price and convince them with other things than by it, instead of first giving the impression of being cheaper than others and then, on a critical moment of closing, broke it. But thats enough ranting about working. Now I can talk about benefits. Biggest benefit in any line of work, except being in cast of Baywatch, is getting paid. (In Baywatch it is probably getting laid.) With the money one gets from sacrificing his free time, health and sleeping rhytm, one can do whatever one wants. This one wanted to decorate, since living without any furniture except bed and couple of bookshelves gets too spartan in the long run. This ment a whole day trip to different shops. Although it is easy to despise people who buy from Ikea, it had to be admitted that it is an easy way to buy cheap crap. Of course you can expect that there probably isn't any items that would last very long or would look cool after two years, but with limited budget it is an easy choise. After one hour walkabout through the whole fucking store, I walked out with couple of cushions and a mirror. After another supermarket I had added my cart a table for living room and ordered three bar stools. After that I realised how I might have to pay the rent too. At that point the tour ended after investing 350€ on furniture and accessories (there is still one bookshelf to build..). I'll add a picture of my living room at its current state as soon as camereas batteries recharge. Joe I haven't been writing lately much. One major excuse for the past week and a half has been Bob's tour in America, which has leaved me with bigger responsibilities than I first thought. Yes, for those of you who don't know, I am currently employed by my longtime friend and comrade monkey Bob Frozen. This week was pretty good considering that I managed to convince a mislead client to buy our services with three times the money they had estimated.

For this misleading is hard to pinpoint any particular scapegoats. But for all of you who'll have to negotiate and close deals, I strongly suggest sending proper proposals to your clients before talking about closing the deal. You'll talk about the price and convince them with other things than by it, instead of first giving the impression of being cheaper than others and then, on a critical moment of closing, broke it.

But thats enough ranting about working. Now I can talk about benefits. Biggest benefit in any line of work, except being in cast of Baywatch, is getting paid. (In Baywatch it is probably getting laid.) With the money one gets from sacrificing his free time, health and sleeping rhytm, one can do whatever one wants. This one wanted to decorate, since living without any furniture except bed and couple of bookshelves gets too spartan in the long run.

This ment a whole day trip to different shops. Although it is easy to despise people who buy from Ikea, it had to be admitted that it is an easy way to buy cheap crap. Of course you can expect that there probably isn't any items that would last very long or would look cool after two years, but with limited budget it is an easy choise. After one hour walkabout through the whole fucking store, I walked out with couple of cushions and a mirror.

After another supermarket I had added my cart a table for living room and ordered three bar stools. After that I realised how I might have to pay the rent too. At that point the tour ended after investing 350€ on furniture and accessories (there is still one bookshelf to build..).

I'll add a picture of my living room at its current state as soon as camereas batteries recharge.

Joe

]]>